I Just Wanted To Be Cool

Jun 17

They were too cool for school. At least, that’s what I believed.

On the first day of kindergarten, I knew who I wanted to be my friends — James and J.T. Maybe, it was their long, naturally straight hair many of us with curls envied. Or, the way they carelessly wore their school uniform. It likely was a mix of their cooler than school attitude and how popular they appeared to be that drew me to them. Whatever the reason, I knew I needed them to like me.

Fun fact. In court, when examining if someone is liable for a specific crime, a judge or jury may ask, “what would have a reasonable person done?” If a reasonable person would have done whatever the person is on trial for, he or she would likely be seen as innocent in the court of law.

Back to my story. As any reasonable, insecure 5-year-old boy wanting to earn the approval of the cool kids in class would do: I fabricated stories about my home life. One of those stories being the wonderful, powered bicycle my parents bought me. Young Ryan believed if he had a powered bicycle, he would be cool enough to earn James and J.T.’s approval. Who wouldn’t want to be friends with someone who had a powered bicycle?

I would love to look you in the eye, tell this same story, and conclude, toddler Ryan was childish, and adult Ryan, well, he’s mature. Though I may not be as blatantly deceptive, I do believe that same insecurity haunts me and many others into fabricating certain aspects of our lives to appear better than they are. We may not lie about the things we have, but many of us (including myself) feel a pressure similar to young Ryan known as keeping up with the Joneses.

Keeping up with the Joneses can be defined as doing or buying something to establish your value. This rings true for many, and only few are bold enough to admit — we’ll spend money we don’t have, to buy something we don’t need, to impress someone who doesn’t care. We justify it by saying all these reasonable people are taking out car loans and buying houses with a mortgage that suffocates their budget.

Warren Buffett, one of top ten wealthiest individuals in the world, humorously states, “It’s only when the tide goes out, you discover who’s been skinning dipping.”

At the heart of any individual fighting to keep up with the Joneses, lies insecurity. When insecurity plagues you, where do you turn? If you are like me, you might turn to shopping, sports, television, or food. After indulging in our vice of choice, we are forced to answer the question at hand, “Are we satisfied?”

That is when the truth of Matthew 4:4 comes in full force, “Man does not live on bread alone, but by every word from the mouth of God.” When you hear the voice of God, you find liberation. You realize you can feel complete, secure, and satisfied even in the midst of hunger pains. That’s counterculture. We live in America — If we are hungry, we should eat. Right?

“What would a reasonable person do?” It was the wrong question all along.

The right question to be asking is, “What would a child of the Creator of the universe do?” We would fervently seek to know our Father and glean on His every word. After hearing His voice, we would conclude joy doesn’t come from the things we have, whether a powered bicycle or the vacation house we’ve always wanted. It comes from knowing and hearing our Father’s voice.

Ryan De Amicis

Wealth Advisor

408.758.6413

ryan@christianwm.com